There was a lot of him and a little penis
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
