Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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