Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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