Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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