i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it was like eating out sand paper
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
