its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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