And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
