Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
