Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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