I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize