Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
