my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
