this just has baby written all over it
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize