i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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