dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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