Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
