Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
