Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
your thong is hanging out like whoa
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
