Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize