Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
