May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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