Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
