great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
