What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Randomize
