I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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