The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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