I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
