i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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