Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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