i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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