They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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