Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
