I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Enjoy the penises
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
