this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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