My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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