Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My dick has a subreddit
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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