You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
