I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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