We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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