We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
