At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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