just come out here and I will go home with you...
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize