HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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