Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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