it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
