i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
