These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
