dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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