is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
