What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
