I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
