I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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