It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
