Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
