I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I wish i was in the wii world.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
