In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
