i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
