I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
