You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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