so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
