you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize