Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
