Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize