scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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