You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
