For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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